Dear Java

by Jeff Haynie on January 29, 2007 · Comments

Dear Java,

I’m sorry to have to write you this letter, and I hope you can forgive me for doing so.

I think we both know that our relationship has been over for some time. I have loved every minute of the ten years we have spent together. I feel bad it has to be over.

You see, the thing is I’ve been seeing someone new lately. Her name is Ruby. Ever since I started seeing her, things just haven’t been the same. She’s quite beautiful and you’ve aged a lot over the past few years. She’s fun and exciting. You’ve gotten really boring. She’s got some sexy friends she hangs out with, like Rails and Gems. All your friends are really defensive and bitchy. She’s really flexible and works out a lot these days. Lately, you’re really showing your age and you haven’t been keeping yourself fit – you’ve become pretty bloated and disorganized. I’m sorry to say it, but you’re really losing it.

And one more thing. Your parents are really part of the problem and they are very controlling. You should figure out how to get on your own. Things would be much easier if you weren’t under their thumb. I know they’ve told you that you can part ways soon and get own your own, but I think we know that that’s just another ploy and they’ll still control your life. You need your independence if you’re going to have a chance at a good relationship.

All I can say is that I really hope we can still be friends. You’ve got a great personality and we’ve got a lot of great memories. I wish you the best of luck, please keep in touch.

Love always,

Jeff

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  • Curtis Forrester
    Funny as heck, Jeff. I totally agree. True, Java rocks and I also suffered through the era of "Yes, it really can do that...just watch."

    A big part of the problem is who uses which tools. Time was Java developers were the mavericks who were not afraid to kick the tires and take the new language for a spin. They perceived that there was opportunity to do new, cool stuff that wasn't possible previously. Those Java developers now have "matured" and adopted patterns and methodologies and have their favorite tools (etc). The ruby guys just want to use cool stuff and build cool stuff. And so, here we go again. The adventurous are using the newest to do the coolest while yesterdays cool has become so mainstream.
  • I really will enjoy seeing the whole Java is mature and stable and Ruby is not debate. I suffered through this in Java and was a very staunch promoter for the last 10 years for Java. I also was one of the only companies 5 years ago doing Java in the Telecommunications industry - and I still have nightmares of the debates I had with very large telecommunications companies who would send their teams of elite systems engineers to tell me that Java was not capable of doing very large scale systems. It's funny how with time, things change - or remain the same. The debate was always C was so much more mature, stable and scalable over Java. Now, the debate rages over Ruby vs. Java. Ruby is the new entrant and Java is old hat. Life is so beautiful. And in ten years, we'll be doing this again. :)
  • Jeff,

    Straight to the point and even fun to read.

    I think you're quite right in saying Java will stay but it was about time a language with a better level of "expressiveness" showed its face.

    That being said I think we need to keep Java in our radar. It is well supported by many corporations (outside Sun) unlike Ruby which is mostly a "Lab/School" language (wich should probably change with more and more site using RoR and companies like
    Apple who will ship Ruby on Rails with OS X 10.5 (Leopard)

    Jean-Marc

    p.s. The code is not visible to enter when CSS is enabled (I had to disable it to be able to enter any)
  • that is on of the most fun and genius post I have ever read!
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